I think I see him!
This way!
- Five. - Great.
You got an arrow right in your chest.
Don't worry. I got resurrection.
I'm already one of the undead.
I can still throw death spells.
Just trying to help you out, man.
How about throwing a spell over the pizza man?
Where's our pizza, man?
I'm ready as of now to play.
I'm ready to play now, you guys.
We're in the middle, Elliott. You can't join in the middle.
I got him!
What am I asking for?
Papa-oom-mow-mow. Papa-oom-mow-mow.
Mike?
It's not for us, it's for his mother.
Mike?
Ask Steve. He's game master. He has absolute power.
Steve?
Steve, can I play now?
Go wait for the pizza first.
Then I'm in? You're in.
Figure out your strategy. You're playing after Greg.
Plenty of sausage and pepperonis.
Everything but the little fishies.
Harvey?
Harvey, is that you, boy?
Over here, you guys.
Stop it. Sorry.
Harvey?
All's you get is those 40-year-olds. How do you win this game?
It's like life. You don't win at life. Money helps.
Mom! There's something out...
Where's the pizza?
There's something out there! In the toolshed.
It threw the ball at me.
Quiet!
Nobody go out there.
Stop. Now, you guys stay right here.
You stay here, Mom. We'll check it out.
And put those knives back!
It's okay, Elliott.
Let's go get the flashlight.
Hold it. Wait a minute.
Creeps. Creepy.
What exactly did you see?
In there.
It's scary.
There's nothing in here.
The gate's open.
Look at these.
Coyote's come back again, Mom.
Okay, party's over. Everybody, back inside now.
Get out. Hurry up.
Quick. Hurry up.
Tyler, give me that knife.
Great. Nice one, Elliott.
It was an accident.
Who said you guys could order a pizza?
Him.
In the house. You geek, man.
Mom, it was real.
Douche bag.
No douche-bag talk in my house.
Elliott, you're crazy.
Hello.
Hello?
What are you going as for Halloween?
- I'm not going to stupid Halloween. - Go as a goblin.
Shut up.
It's not that we don't believe you, honey.
Well, it was real. I swear.
What are you going as, Gert?
I'm going as a cowgirl.
So what else is new?
- Maybe it was an iguana. - It was no iguana.
Maybe a...
You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers?
Alligators in the sewers.
All we're trying to say is, maybe you imagined it.
I couldn't have.
- Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid. - A deformed kid.
Maybe an elf or a leprechaun.
It was nothing like that, penis breath!
Elliott!
Sit down.
Dad would believe me.
Maybe you ought to call your father and tell him about it.
I can't. He's in Mexico with Sally.
Where's Mexico?
Excuse me.
I'm going to kill you.
If you see it again, whatever it is, don't touch it.
Just call me. We'll have somebody take it away.
Like the dogcatcher?
They'll give it a lobotomy...
...or do experiments on it or something.
Your turn to do the dishes.
- I set and cleared. - I did.
I did breakfast. I did breakfast.
What's the matter, Mom?
He hates Mexico.
Damn it! Why don't you grow up?
Think how other people feel for a change.
Ma...
Mom.
Michael.
Mom.
Wow!
Okay, you're hot.
I'll be back.
Mary, can I back the car out? Not one foot past the driveway.
You were outside last night waiting for that thing, weren't you?
Are you going to live if I go to work?
Okay.
No TV.
Come on.
Mommy, look what Michael did.
This and...
I see them, Gert, and when I catch him, I'll catch him.
Come on. Don't be afraid.
It's all right. Come on.
Come on.
Do you talk?
You know, talk?
Me, human.
Boy.
Elliott.
Coke. See, we drink it.
It's a drink.
You know, food?
These are toys. Little men.
This is Greedo.
And then this is Hammerhead.
You see, this is Walrus Man.
And then this is Snaggletooth.
And this is Lando Calrissian.
See?
And this is Boba Fett.
Look. They can even have wars.
And look. Fish.
The fish eat the fish food...
...and the shark eats the fish...
...but nobody eats a shark.
See, this is Pez. Candy.
You see, you eat it.
You put the candy in here...
...and when you lift the head, the candy comes out and you can eat it.
You want some?
This is a peanut.
You eat it.
But you can't eat this one because this is fake.
This is money. You see?
We put the money in the peanut.
You see? Bank.
And then...
...this is a car.
This is what we get around in.
See? A car.
Wait a second.
No. You don't eat them.
Are you hungry?
I'm hungry.
Stay.
I'll be right here.
Okay? I'll be right here.
Harv!
Come on, Harvey.
He'll like this.
This.
Are you okay?
Too much excitement?
Want a Coke?
35 pounds.
35 pounds!
But you're so fat.
I wonder how tall you are.
I'm 4'6", you must be around...
...3'...
This is where the water comes from. See?
This is hot and this is cold.
Now, it all comes from a big water tower.
It goes through pipes and sometimes...
...dead bugs come through the pipes and land in the bath.
It's real sick. Anyway, look.
Are you thirsty?
I'll get it.
Hi. Yeah, I'm fine.
Sure. Yeah, I still got a fever.
Yeah. No, get back.
I'm fine, Mom. Yeah.
Yeah.
No. Mom, I have to get in bed now.
Okay. Goodbye.
Mom, I'm sick.
Mom, I don't need to go to the doctor!
Mom, I only had a fever of 99 today.
Okay, and a half.
Okay, Mom. Okay, 'bye.
I've got to throw up. Mom, please.
I'm gonna throw up on the phone if you don't let me go.
'Bye. Mom, I've got to throw up now.
Yeah...
You could drown in stuff like this.
Is this your idea of a good time?
"There are so many people to see
"So many people you can check upon and add to your collection
"But they keep you hanging on
"Nothing but health shit
"Add to your collection but they keep you hanging on"
Mike, come in.
How you feeling, faker? I'm feeling fine.
I got something really important...
Tyler said he got 69,000 on Asteroids yesterday...
...but he pulled the plug. - Look, remember the goblin?
You're so lame, Elliott.
Come on, Michael. He came back.
He came back?
My God!
One thing.
I have absolute power.
Say it.
- Say it! - What have you got? Is it the coyote?
No. Look...
Okay. Now, swear it.
The most excellent promise you can make.
Swear as my only brother on our lives.
Don't get so heavy. I swear.
Okay. Stand over there.
You'd better take off your shoulder pads.
You might scare him.
And close your eyes.
Don't push it, Elliott.
I'm not coming out there until your eyes are closed.
Okay. They're closed.
Mom is going to kill you.
Okay. Swear it one more time.
- I have absolute power. - You have absolute power.
Elliott! Look what I made for you!
Stop!
Kids, I'm home!
Guys?
In the closet, fast.
Anybody up there, kids?
Anybody home?
Hi, honey, how are you feel...
What happened in here?
You mean my room.
This is no room.
This is an accident.
I was reorganizing.
I can see that.
Put those shelves back on the wall.
Get the toys off the floor.
Make your bed since you are not using it.
You're feeling better, I see.
Will you guys watch Gertie for me while I take a shower?
Absolutely.
'Bye, Mom.
Elliott...
I'm keeping him.
What is it?
He won't hurt you, Gertie.
We're not going to hurt you.
Is he a boy or a girl?
He's a boy.
Was he wearing any clothes?
No.
But, look, you can't tell.
Not even Mom.
Why not?
Because grownups can't see him.
Only little kids can see him.
Give me a break.
Well, do you know what's going to happen if you do tell?
Do it, Mike. We have to.
No, please!
I'll do anything, please!
Help me! No, please!
Give it!
- Promise? - Yes.
Do you promise?
What are you doing, Gert?
I'm going to play in Elliott's room.
Okay. Don't let him torture you.
I won't, Mary.
Hello?
Jerry!
Come on, come on. Hurry up.
Don't be pushy, pushy.
A plant for you.
Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live.
Like those rabbits we saw that time.
Don't be lame. Green, orange...
Could be a monkey or an orangutan.
A bald monkey?
Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.
You could make faces.
And make them mean and happy...
...and make them get sharp teeth.
We are here.
We're here. Use this.
You could make all sorts of things.
Okay. We're here.
We are here.
Where are you from?
I don't like his feet.
They're only feet, you little twerp.
He's trying to tell us something.
Earth.
Home.
What's he doing?
What's happening?
Elliott.
Oh, no.
Elliott, what is it?
I don't know. Something scary.
Got a pulse?
No, boss.
Hold it. We got it right here.
Follow him.
Okay.
You think it's this house?
Did you explain school to him?
How do you explain it to higher intelligence?
Maybe he's not so smart. Maybe he's a worker bee...
Who pushes buttons. He's smart.
I hope we don't wake up on Mars...
...surrounded by millions of little squashy guys.
Hi, Elliott.
- Elliott, where's your goblin? - Shut up.
Did he come back?
Did he?
Yeah, he came back.
But he's not a goblin. He's a spaceman.
As in extraterrestrial.
Where's he from? Uranus? Get it? Your anus?
- He doesn't get it. - Get it? Your anus?
- He doesn't get it. - You're so immature.
And you're a sine supremus.
- Zero charisma. - Sine supremus.
Zero charisma.
Shut up, Greg!
Sine supremus. Zero charisma!
You wimp.
Let's go.
Come on. Get in the car. We'll be late.
Okay, boys and girls...
...today we will be doing the actual frog dissection...
...for which we've been preparing.
And you will find...
...many similarities.
As you get into the dissection...
...you will discover that the anatomy...
The scalpel is very sharp.
Use discretion when you are cutting.
There will be very little blood.
There may be a few body fluids.
As we get started with the dissection...
...remember that the things you are writing down...
Some of the things that you should look for during the dissection...
...is to locate the heart and notice that it is still beating.
I'm going to once more emphasize the similarities...
...of those things which we see...
Similarities with human anatomy.
First of all, here's the heart.
The intestines will be going through their peristaltic action.
X- W-V-U...
...A- F-P.
That is incorrect.
The correct spelling of nuisance...
...is N-U-I-S-A-N-C-E.
They're pulling us up.
Class, these are the cotton balls with the chloroform.
As soon as I get them all in, put the lid on right away.
That's it.
That will start them going to sleep.
They won't feel anything. They won't be hurt.
It'll take a little while.
If you don't want to watch them, you don't have to.
Say hi.
Can you talk?
Can you say hi?
Hello.
Uncle Ralph!
It's Uncle Ralph, long distance from California!
I'll talk fast. This call must be expensive.
No. If I call anytime on Saturday without an operator...
...it's five minutes for 85 cents plus tax.
If I talk less, I pay less.
Let me talk to that little fella.
Lou, it's Uncle Ralph.
Hello, Uncle Ralph.
Save him.
Run for your life! Back to the river! Back to the forest!
Run! I want to save you!
Let's get out of here!
Get out!
I got to let him go!
You've got to save him!
Let me handle this!
Let me handle this! I can handle this.
Let me get this.
Sanford, what's wrong?
I'm afraid Betsy Sue isn't going to run tomorrow.
No. Is it anything serious?
Harvey, I'm home. Come here, boy.
Here he is.
Here's who?
The man from the moon, but I think you've killed him already.
As soon as I unload the stuff, okay?
Bugs.
I want you to meet somebody.
This stuff has gone up so much in one week.
I want you to meet somebody.
When I finish putting this stuff away, okay?
Stupid ragł. I knew it wouldn't come out.
"B." "B."
What's with this?
Hello.
Yeah, this is she.
"Basket.
"Bandit.
"Ball.
"Basket. Bandit. Ball.
"Bugs.
"Bananas. "
Intoxicated?
You sure you have the right Elliott?
"B."
- "Biscuits. " - "B."
But "B" is for boy...
"B."
...with a baseball and bat.
You said "B."
"B."
You said "B."
Good.
"B."
"Good. "
I'll be right down. Thank you.
Gertie, I have to go pick up Elliott.
- Will you be a good girl... - Mommy, he can talk.
Of course he can. I'll be back. Stay there.
Ladies and gentlemen...
...little Grover here will demonstrate...
...by chinning himself two times.
Two times? Two times.
Can I start? Go ahead.
Okay. Here we go.
Phone.
You want to call somebody?
I am not paying for frogs.
Be good. Be good.
Stay here. Stay.
Don't tell anybody.
Nobody.
Be good. Be good.
Move.
God!
- Elliott. - What?
Elliott.
I taught him how to talk. He can talk now.
Look what he brought up here all by himself.
What's he need this stuff for?
Elliott.
E.T. Can you say that?
Can you say E.T?
E.T.
Be good.
I taught him that, too.
You should give him his dignity.
This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen!
Phone.
Phone?
He said "phone"?
Can't you understand English?
He said "phone. "
Home.
You're right. That's E.T.'s home.
E. T...
...home, phone.
E.T. Phone home.
He wants to call somebody.
What's all this shit? E.T. Phone home.
Oh, my God, he's talking now.
Home.
E.T. Phone home?
E.T. Phone home.
And they'll come?
Come.
Home.
Come on. I promise, Mom. What book?
Any one you want.
Spiderman...
We'll just smile...
...and try to get through the evening. That's all I want to do.
We can't ask Cathy to trick-or-treat in the same sheet she wore last year.
Now I wish I would've listened in science.
Think, Michael.
We should just grab anything he could make a machine out of.
What would make a radar?
How the hell do I know? You're the genius here.
You have absolute power, remember?
"I found him. He belongs to me. "
You know, Elliott...
...he doesn't look too good anymore. - Don't say that! We're fine!
What's all this "we" stuff?
You say "we" all the time.
Really, I think he's getting sick. He's fine.
Okay, okay. Forget I mentioned it.
Grab that Fuzzbuster.
Dad's shirt.
Remember when he used to take us out to the ball games...
...and take us to the movies, and we had popcorn fights?
We'll do that again, Elliott. Sure.
Old Spice.
Sea Breeze.
"Peter says, 'The Redskins were defeated?
"'Wendy and the boys captured by the pirates?
"'I'll rescue her. I'll rescue her. '
"He leaps, first at his dagger...
"... then at his grindstone to sharpen it.
"But Tink rings out a warning cry.
"'Oh, that is just my medicine. '
"She says, 'Poisoned?
"'Who could've poisoned it? '
"'I promised Wendy to take it and I will, as soon as I have sharpened my dagger. '
"Tinkerbell sees its red color...
"... and remembers the red in the pirate's eye...
"... nobly swallows the draft...
"... as Peter's hand is reaching for it.
"'Why, Tink, you have drunk my medicine. '
"She flutters strangely about the room...
"... answering him with a very faint tinkle. "
Ouch!
Ouch.
"She says she thinks she could get well again...
"... if children believed in fairies.
"Do you believe? Say quick that you believe. "
I do!
"If you believe, clap your hands.
"Many clap, some don't, a few hiss.
"But Tink is saved. 'Thank you.
"'Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
"'And now to rescue Wendy. "'
Can you read it to me again?
"Peter says... "
He's putting it together now.
I told you he was smart. I'm worried, Elliott.
He could blow up the house. He knows what he's doing.
Listen to how he's breathing.
It's going to work.
What's he feeling now?
He's feeling everything.
You're going as a ghost. You promised.
I'm only pretending I'm going as a cowgirl.
Okay. Now, you know the plans by heart, don't you?
Meet you at the lookout.
At the lookout. I'm not stupid, you know.
You won't get four blocks in this neighborhood dressed like that.
I mean it. You are not going as a hippy!
All the guys are!
I'm not stupid, you know.